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Author: nik
Posted: 2007-09-21 18:07:28
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My three-year-old daughter Claire knows who she is and where she's going. Just ask her. Her six-year-old brother asked her the other day while we were driving.
"I'm going to be an artist" he told her. "What are you going to be?"
"A puppy, silly!" she declared.
Ask Claire about any of her personal preferences and she can answer in a snap. Favorite color, favorite food, favorite book, favorite animal- she knows what she likes and why. As her mother and almost two decades her senior, I wish I had the confidence and insight to be as bold.
The other night while having dinner with a friend, the conversation drifted to the question of "if you had two hours to yourself and could do anything, what would you do?"
Ugggghhh! How I hate that question. Ask me about political issues, ask me about my religious beliefs, ask me my weight... but please don't ask me what I would do if it were just me! The embarrassing answer is "ummm I don't know...."
Somewhere in the middle of knowing everyone else's favorite color, and food, and movie, and hobby... I've forgotten my own. In the past I saw this as a badge of selflessness and devotion. But today I know better. I know that I can't ignore my own needs until the kids leave the house.
I know that someday my children will leave my care. What kind of woman will they leave behind? Will I recognize or remember her? What if she has no direction or dreams of her own. If I wait until then to find out, will there be any of me left?
I have decided that I will stop envying my daughters determination and resolve, and start remembering who God made me to be.
As I chuckled from the driver's seat of the van that day at Connor and Claire's conversation, I asked myself a similar question. What do I want to be when my kids grow up? Or better yet,what do I want to be now? It's time to start remembering my own identity and how I can use my gifts and talents while I'm doing the most important thing I will ever do- being my kids mom.
P.S You get 10 points if you get the title reference. |
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